Psychology of Sexuality and Gender

Sexuality has been attracting people’s attention at all times (Bristow). Sexual and erotic themes as well as the theme of love are widely reflected in the visual arts and literature. Religion as well as philosophy, i.e. anything that has to do with morality and human behavior, has always tried to set some limits and prohibitions on gender relations. In different historical periods, many of the human diseases, aggressiveness, emotional disorders as well as flowering and decline of culture were interpreted as being the result of too intense or, conversely, insufficient sexual activity.

The following paper is devoted to critical analysis of the male and female sexuality. Are men and women so different? Or do they have any similar features? Some scientists claim that the sexuality does not relate to gender, whereas others claim that it fully depends on gender. Personally, I think that gender influences sexuality.

The understanding of sexuality can be deepened and broadened by considering biological, psychological, behavioral, social, and cultural aspects. In this paper, the main differences in the male and female sexuality will be analyzed. This issue is quite topical nowadays as the objective information about the sexuality of people can help deal with a variety of personal, social, and moral problems as it can assist in understanding ourselves and others. Sexual literacy can lead to a reasonable and responsible sexual behavior of people in relation to each other and help them make important decisions in this area. Sex education is a priceless preparation for life.

Sexuality is a multifaceted and multidimensional concept (Ryan). The difference between sexual acts such as masturbation, kissing or sexual intercourse, and sexual behavior, which include not only the sexual act itself, but also flirting, a certain style of clothing, reading of erotic literature, and dates, provides just a superficial understanding of the issue of sexuality. In order to gain a more complete understanding of sexuality, following aspects of sexuality should be defined:

• The Biological Aspect. The biological factors largely control sexual development from the moment of impregnation to the moment of birth and further growth as it onsets the ability to reproduce during the puberty. These factors also influence the sexual desire and sexual activity. The biological factors also determine the gender differences in the behavior. For example, men are more aggressive comparing to women. Sexual arousal, regardless of its reason, causes biological effects such as the increased heart rate, reaction of genitals, and feeling of warmth and awe spreading throughout the body.
• The Psychological Aspect. The psychological aspect of sexuality implies the feelings, emotions, thoughts, and fantasies, which are determined by the individual’s self-perception and perception of the partner. Psychological aspect plays a major role in the development of the sexual identity in the process of human development. Child’s consciousness of being male or female is formed mainly under the influence of the psychosocial factors.
• The Social Aspect. This aspect implies that the sexual relations among people are governed by the laws and prohibitions as well as public opinion, which beckon us to follow sexually accepted norms.
• The Behavioral Aspect. It describes the sexuality and sexual behavior. It is closely related to the psychological and social aspects. The behavioral aspect classifies the sexual manifestations as “normal” and “abnormal”.
• The “Clinical” Aspect. Despite the fact that a sexual activity is the natural function of the body, there are many different circumstances that can weaken the pleasure or spontaneity during the love dates. Some physical problems such as illness, injury, or drugs may change the nature of sexual responses or even completely suppress them. Feelings of anxiety, guilty, confusion, or depression as well as the conflicts in interpersonal relationships can disrupt sexual activity. Sex therapy is engaged in finding ways to resolve these and other challenges in order to achieve the sexual health and happiness.
• The Cultural Aspect. There is no solely “correct” attitude towards sex in the world, as it differs according to the society, century, culture, etc. Many moral principles related to the sex are associated with particular religious traditions, but religion is not a monopoly on the morality. People without a solid religious conviction can be less moral than deeply religious ones. There is no such system of sexual values which would be true for everyone, and no moral code can be indisputably correct and applicable in all cases. However, the cultural trends are characterized by the variability. The cultural aspects form the new views and attitudes by which a sense of duty and loyalty in intimate relationships force people to give up the momentary pleasure and sexual permissiveness.
• The Social and Legal Aspects. The recognition of the inalienable rights of the individual inevitably includes the right to respect the private life, which should not be interfered by the state and its agencies under any circumstances.

Similarities and differences between male and female sexuality are one of the most difficult issues of sexuality. It includes many aspects such as anatomical and physiological features, sexual response, sexual behavior, and, finally, sexual scenarios, i.e. motivation, erotic imagination, moral and aesthetic values, etc. On the one hand, these differences are rooted in the laws of the reproductive biology. On the other hand, they are inextricably linked to the sex roles and stereotypes of masculinity and femininity, which differ among societies.

However, human sexuality is not restricted to the specific physiological responses and automatic actions. Moreover, it can be experienced in different ways depending on one’s assumptions and attitudes.

If to look closer at the male’s sexuality, unlike women, the male genitalia are open and the most important sexual responses, i.e. erection and ejaculation, can be observed visually.

According to Zilbergeld, male sexuality is an extremely sensitive subject. In the public mind as well as in the consciousness of the men themselves, masculinity and sexuality are almost synonymous. The woman can easily say that she does not care about men and no one will judge her. However, if the man claims that he does not have any sexual interest, he can be immediately suspected to be an impotent or a homosexual. The men usually do not separate their sexual identity from the sexuality. The virility is supposed to be the power of each male. Male sexuality has always been and still remains the subject of some kind of cult. Sometimes men even create a lot of myths related to the male sexuality (Zilbergeld).

The size of the penis is also a subject of many myths. Some people believe that penis’ size depends on the height and masculine physique. Others think that its size is correlated with the size of the feet, the length of the nose, or even the size of the ears. Some people relate it to the race. The owners of the big penises are credited with the special physical strength, courage, and achievements in sports. They are supposed to have more sperm and higher childbearing potential as well as better erection and more intense sexual life. Finally, a lot of males suppose that the size of the penis is very important for women.

In fact, this issue is quite individual. When resting, the average penis length is about 9 centimeters. However, in a state of erection it grows longer, so that the average erected penis is 16 centimeters in length. However, this is not so important. Female genital organs are very plastic. It means that they easily “tune” in accordance to the correct size of the penis, so that the sexual satisfaction of women does not really depends on the size of the penis. The survey of the young Americans indicated that among the attractive features of the men’s appearance women figured out the shape of the buttocks (39%), symmetry (15%), flat stomach (13%), and eyes (11%). Just 2% of the women mentioned big penis as the most attractive feature (Stainton).

Similarly to the size of genitals, male potency is also very individual. The level of sexual arousal and activity which is considered to be normal for one man can be totally inadequate and even excessive to another.

According to the psychological tests, the men of all ages concede women in the ability to self-discover as well as provide empathy. One of the most common problems of the adolescence and youth is shyness. However, the boys are going through it much more painfully than the girls do. In the males’ companies the manifestation of tenderness is strictly tabooed.

Among all the cross-cultural differences, the male’s lifestyle is more subjected and oriented, whereas the females are more emotional and expressive. Men are rated primarily on the basis of the results of their work and social activities, i.e. as the warriors, organizers etc. While the women are appreciated for their tenderness, attention, and emotional qualities that help to overcome and resolve conflicts. These criteria define their self-esteem as well as sexuality.

The traditional model of the sexual behavior tends to attribute all the activities in this case to the man, i.e. from the flirt to the sexual intercourse. The women are supposed to have the passive role. However, in fact, the relationships of the sexes in the bed as well as in other aspects of life have always been more cooperative, though often not equal.

The women’s sexuality is often portrayed as something purely biological. This corresponds to the old cultural stereotype that women embody a predominantly natural principle. It is considered that the women’s sexual activity relates and varies at the different stages of the menstrual cycle, as it is presumably related to the level of the estrogen secretion. However, according to the experimental data, this is a controversial issue. The sexual activity of women may depend not only on the hormonal processes, but also on many other factors, such as the willingness of the partner and other conditions.

Now, we will look closer at what makes a woman sexy. Sexuality is a set of personal external and internal qualities. It may include an image, look, behavior, and speech. That is why it can be defined internal and external sexuality.

Internal sexuality is given by the nature and it depends on the genetics, physical aspects, etc. This kind of sexuality provides a good basis, i.e. self-esteem, favorable perceptions of the opposite sex etc., for the external sexuality. Self-esteem can be expressed in a smile, a free and easy flirting, sexually attractive clothes, and the ability to wear them. It can be said that the natural, internal sexuality is more defined than the external i.e. acquired sexuality.

Events that happen to a person in childhood leave an indelible imprint on the rest of individual’s life. The intimate area is no exception. The beginnings of our sexuality are formed in an early age due to the relationships inside the family at home. The child who is growing up in an atmosphere of love and care usually has a sufficient supply of sensuality and tenderness at the time of puberty, which helps to make his/her personal life bright and unique. On the other hand, unloved children or orphans often suffer from the lack of affection. Receiving less love in childhood, they have nothing to offer to a partner in adulthood.

In families where the issues of sex are quite sensible, i.e. not focused, but still not surrounded by taboos and prohibitions, the child receives all the necessary understanding of human sexuality, which contributes to a harmonious establishment of personality. It means that the parents who have just the blatant disregard provide a child the mass of complexes in the future. If a person feels that the roots of his/her problems are lost somewhere deep in the childhood, they have to be inspected by a good specialist, i.e. a psychologist.

The following methods can enhance the sexual energy of the female individuals:

1. Find the time to do what you like. This implies listening to the favorite music, going to the theater, meeting friends, eating your favorite meals, etc.

2. Radiate sexuality from inside out. It implies to be beautiful externally as well as radiate beauty from inside. External beauty can be achieved by visiting a beauty salon, a swimming pool, a massage room, or changing the image, etc. Internal sexuality can be revealed by dancing, especially strip dance, belly dance, Latin dance, and Tango.

3. Free up your life for sex. It means thinking and having fantasy about sex. It is considered that similarities gravitate. The abovementioned implies that thoughts about sex attract it. The internal and external harmony always makes individuals more attractive to their partners.

Although these methods are supposed to be rather effective in order to increase the sexual energy, they, in fact, belong to popular informal fallacies. It means that they are not scientifically approved. However, these pieces of advice are rather popular in the modern women magazines.

One of the main and fundamental mistakes of the females is starting to behave themselves the way they usually do not. People should trust themselves and their instincts, not adapt to any image. The scientists have proved that a sexually attractive person should be primarily a healthy person. The scientists have identified that men firstly pay attention to a woman’s breast, then – hair, and only then they consider the eyes and lips.

The process of seduction involves all five human senses, i.e. sight, hearing, touch, smell, and taste. These senses should be also used in order to increase the sexuality.

The modern sexual behavior is greatly affected by the existence of different socio-political movements. Most of them came out from the “youth culture” of the 1960s, i.e. the Feminist movement, the gay rights movement, etc. The abovementioned questioned the traditional sexual stereotypes and values.

Nowadays, sex, sexuality, and sensuality can be frequently found in the entertainment industry, i.e. theaters, movies, television, etc. Modern advertising uses sexual images in order to stimulate the purchases. People have a lot of available sex-related products and accessories.

Women’s sexuality changes over time much more than men’s sexuality does (Butler). It changes according to the changes in interests, social conditions, social status, education etc. Nowadays women are becoming more equitable and economically independent. These factors along with reliable means of birth control resulted to the perception of a man not only as a sexual partner, but also as a person.

The social values, i.e. the individuality of a partner, his character, behavior, relationships, and love are more important for women than for men. Emotional attachment and love are essential features for the good development of women’s sexuality. It has been noted that women are more dissatisfied with the cold and indifferent attitude of the partner than with the unsuccessful sexual contact.

Intellectual development of a man, his inner world and emotions have more value for a woman than the man’s appearance. Conversely, for men women’s appearance is supposed to be the powerful sexual stimulus. Men have a more advanced sexual fantasy. They are more interested in pornography.

Women more often than men have a sexual dysfunction associated with the strict upbringing as a child. Their romantic and platonic attraction is more brightly expressed than sexual attraction. The female’s puberty begins 1 – 2 years earlier than male’s puberty, and it runs more quietly and smoothly. The need for psychological and emotional contact with the chosen one is formed before the erotic attraction.

The males undergo a stage of the adolescent hyper sexuality, which quickly pushes psychological, romantic experience into the background. However, some of the modern women are characterized by the masculine behaviors.

Women’s erogenous zones are more extensive than the erogenous zones of men. Women may experience a pleasant sensation from the touch to many parts of the body, whereas men have erogenous zones primarily in the genitals, breasts, and mouth.

Female’s orgasm is more diverse in duration, frequency, and the place of occurrence. Women are characterized by the increasing level of the repeated orgasms, while men are characterized by the weaker level of the each of the following orgasm. After intercourse, a man needs some rest in order to recover physical strength. The abovementioned implies the main differences in sexuality in both men and women.

In modern society, cultural stereotypes of masculinity and femininity are less rigid and polarized. The traditional views are closely mixed with the new ones, which take into account individual differences and reflect the views of both sexes. It can be seen that there is the liberalization of the morality and the collapse of traditional anti-sexual plants in the culture (Fausto-Sterling). Cultural taboos against nudity got weakened; the boundaries of decency have extended; and some words, recently considered obscene, came into wide circulation. Sometimes people say that this is evidence of the morality decline. However, the opportunity to discuss previously closed, “shameful”, themes implies that people finally stopped fearing them and can discuss issues related to sexuality freely.

The abovementioned data states that there are a lot of differences in sexuality between genders. These differences are caused by a variety of aspects. The gender differences in sexuality have been analyzed by the variety of scientist. However, some methods which are proposed by them are not true and belong to fallacies. This paper argues the fact that there are no differences in male and female sexuality providing evidences that male and female sexuality is different.